A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what happened to the drug addict? he go high

thumb_up thumb_down +5

canaan and mallory

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Rick santorum

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bumsniffer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops