Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i am and me is i

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops