Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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