What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

Some people like melon and others like soup.

roses are red. violets are violet...

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

TIMMAH!

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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