A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

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What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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whats one plus one penis

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops