Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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What did the Pornstar say to his wife? He concluded that a divorce was the way forward for both of them as, seeming as he was a pornstar, he was almost certainly having extra-maritial sexual intercourse, unhealthy for any working relationship.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Black people deserve to be slaves for their entire lives. WHITE POWER.

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What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

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Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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