A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Whats smarter you or the person writing this? -The answer is that i said whats smarter not whose smarter so I am smarter because you had no clue this was point less pie

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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