you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Pull my finger ouch..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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