How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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What is it called when a whole bunch of black people run down a hill? A race.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops