Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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hi jonny

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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