Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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4

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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