Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

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What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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