Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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