What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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Why do blacks run away from whites? Because god told all people to never go to the light.

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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