What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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I am a women

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Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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you lose.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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