How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

thumb_up thumb_down +2

have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

thumb_up thumb_down +2

who ever is reading this....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

thumb_up thumb_down

http://richardfigures.com/

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops