Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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69

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poop

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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