Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

thumb_up thumb_down +13

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

69

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Free to play" Play free "right now"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops