If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

thumb_up thumb_down -34

knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops