What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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Why are all blondes dumb? They are not all dumb but constant bullying just saying blondes are just pretty gives them that illogical stereo type

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

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lipstick pig

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Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops