Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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24

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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civil rights

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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