Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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Tell you something funny.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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your no better than a cockroach

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops