A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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Get off my porch.

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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