Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Cool Brian

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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DESERT

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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