Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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WHAT????

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

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How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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