Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I told you it would happen

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a pornstar comes early to a party

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops