There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Republicans

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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DESERT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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