who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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Hillary Clinton

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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