What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -a black man that left his family

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

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Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

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you and your family will die tonight

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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