A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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whats the dif...mexicans are gay

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: It depends who is the owner of the car. .

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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