Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Q: What's small and can't read? A: A candybar

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7

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Poop!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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