Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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69

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Jerry.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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Women's rights

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a person and one is a pizza.

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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Neither have I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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