No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

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Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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