why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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knock knock whos there Aids, now you've got it

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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fduck

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Women's rights

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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