hi

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

thumb_up thumb_down -28

30cm = 0,3meters

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -30

100 chefs walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Three black men were walking...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

thumb_up thumb_down -32

But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops