Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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