Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I got shot once it hurt a lot

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

69

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops