Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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Canadians

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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s e m e n

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops