Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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