whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

balls

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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