I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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