Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

1.....2.....3.....boom you died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An irish man walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

willie revilame

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops