Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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