what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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penis haha

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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