Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock who's there no one

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

thumb_up thumb_down +15

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops