A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

i am and me is i

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

.....'',;;::cccllllllllllllcccc:::;;,,,''...'',,'.. ..';cldkO00KXNNNNXXXKK000OOkkkkkxxxxxddoooddddddxxxxkkkkOO0XXKx:. .':ok0KXXXNXK0kxolc:;;,,,,,,,,,,,;;,,,''''''',,''.. .'lOXKd' .,lx00Oxl:,'............''''''................... ...,;;'. .oKXd. .ckKKkc'...'',:::;,'.........'',;;::::;,'..........'',;;;,'.. .';;'. 'kNKc. .:kXXk:. .. .................. .............,:c:'...;:'. .dNNx. :0NKd, .....''',,,,''.. ',...........',,,'',,::,...,,. .dNNx. .xXd. .:;'.. ..,' .;,. ...,,'';;'. ... .oNNo .0K. .;. ;' '; .'...'. .oXX: .oNO. . ,. . ..',::ccc:;,.. .. lXX: .dNX: ...... ;. 'cxOKK0OXWWWWWWWNX0kc. :KXd. .l0N0; ;d0KKKKKXK0ko:... .l0X0xc,...lXWWWWWWWWKO0Kx' ,ONKo. .lKNKl...'......'. .dXWN0kkk0NWWWWWN0o. :KN0;. .,cokXWWNNNNWNKkxONK: .,:c:. .';;;;:lk0XXx; :KN0l';ll:'. .,:lodxxkO00KXNWWWX000k. oXNx;:okKX0kdl:::;'',;coxkkd, ...'. ...'''.......',:lxKO:. oNNk,;c,'',. ...;xNNOc,. ,d0X0xc,. .dOd, ..;dOKXK00000Ox:. ..''dKO, 'KW0,:,.,:..,oxkkkdl;'. 'KK' .. .dXX0o:'....,:oOXNN0d;.'. ..,lOKd. .. ;KXl. ;XNd,; ;. l00kxoooxKXKx:..ld: ;KK' .:dkO000000Okxl;. c0; :KK; . ;XXc 'XXdc. :. .. '' 'kNNNKKKk, .,dKNO. .... .'c0NO' :X0. ,. xN0. .kNOc' ,. .00. ..''... .l0X0d;. 'dOkxo;... .;okKXK0KNXx;. .0X: ,. lNX' ,KKdl .c, .dNK, .;xXWKc. .;:coOXO,,'....... .,lx0XXOo;...oNWNXKk:.'KX; ' dNX. :XXkc'.... .dNWXl .';l0NXNKl. ,lxkkkxo' .cK0. ..;lx0XNX0xc. ,0Nx'.','.kXo ., ,KNx. cXXd,,;:, .oXWNNKo' .'.. .'.'dKk; .cooollox;.xXXl ..,cdOKXXX00NXc. 'oKWK' ;k: .l. ,0Nk. cXNx. . ,KWX0NNNXOl'. .o0Ooldk; .:c;.':lxOKKK0xo:,.. ;XX: .,lOXWWXd. . .':,.lKXd. lXNo cXWWWXooNWNXKko;'.. .lk0x; ...,:ldk0KXNNOo:,.. ,OWNOxO0KXXNWNO, ....'l0Xk, .dNK. oNWWNo.cXK;;oOXNNXK0kxdolllllooooddxk00KKKK0kdoc:c0No .'ckXWWWNXkc,;kNKl. .,kXXk, 'KXc .dNWWX;.xNk. .kNO::lodxkOXWN0OkxdlcxNKl,.. oN0'..,:ox0XNWWNNWXo. ,ONO' .o0Xk; .ONo oNWWN0xXWK, .oNKc .ONx. ;X0. .:XNKKNNWWWWNKkl;kNk. .cKXo. .ON0; .xNd cNWWWWWWWWKOkKNXxl:,'...;0Xo'.....'lXK;...',:lxk0KNWWWWNNKOd:.. lXKclON0: .xNk. .dXd ;XWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNWWNNNNNNNNNWWNNNNNNWWWWWNXKNNk;.. .dNWWXd. cXO. .xXo .ONWNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNK0ko:'..OXo 'l0NXx, :KK, .OXc :XNk0NWXKNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNX00NNx:'.. lXKc. 'lONN0l. .oXK: .KX; .dNKoON0;lXNkcld0NXo::cd0NNO:;,,'.. .0Xc lXXo..'l0NNKd,. .c0Nk, :XK. .xNX0NKc.cXXl ;KXl .dN0. .0No .xNXOKNXOo,. .l0Xk;. .dXk. .lKWN0d::OWK; lXXc .OX: .ONx. . .,cdk0XNXOd;. .'''....;c:'..;xKXx, .0No .:dOKNNNWNKOxkXWXo:,,;ONk;,,,,,;c0NXOxxkO0XXNXKOdc,. ..;::,...;lol;..:xKXOl. ,XX: ..';cldxkOO0KKKXXXXXXXXXXKKKKK00Okxdol:;'.. .';::,..':llc,..'lkKXkc. :NX' . '' .................. .,;:;,',;ccc;'..'lkKX0d;. lNK. .; ,lc,. ................ ..,,;;;;;;:::,....,lkKX0d:. .oN0. .'. .;ccc;,'.... ....'',;;;;;;;;;;'.. .;oOXX0d:. .dN0. .;;,.. .... ..''''''''.... .:dOKKko;. lNK' ..,;::;;,'......................... .;d0X0kc'. .xXO' .;oOK0x:. .cKKo. .,:oxkkkxk0K0xc'. .oKKkc,. .';cok0XNNNX0Oxoc,. .;d0XX0kdlc:;,,,',,,;;:clodkO0KK0Okdl:,'.. .,coxO0KXXXXXXXKK0OOxdoc:,.. ...

What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...