How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

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Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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whats 69+2? 71

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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