What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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the love boat

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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