What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

5

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna hear an anti-joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats small and tickles? pubic lice

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

refridgrator

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops