What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

Your momma so fat, she's fat

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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