Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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