"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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