Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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Jews

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops