ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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This is not a joke or is it

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

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What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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